On Monday, June 7th at 3:40 p.m. our lives changed completely.I went to this appointment, expecting a normal, routine check-up and ultrasound, but it turned out to be a moment in time I will never forget. Jase doesn't get a lot of time off, so we have been picking and choosing the appointments that he goes to, hoping to keep him at the most important ones. I had a different doctor than my regular one who was doing the ultrasound and just a few minutes into the ultrasound she said something that will be forever etched into my memory. She said,
"You know you are having twins right?" Upon hearing this, I could feel the air leave my chest, and I felt a little light headed. The one word that I could muster out was, "Shutup!!" She laughed, realizing that I most definitely did not know that I was having twins and proceeded to show me "Baby A" and "Baby B" on the screen. I was in shock. I cried, and then I laughed as I watched these two miracles do little flips on the screen. I could see each of their hands on their face, and at one point one of them looked directly at me. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I was literally blown away and had a hard time focusing on what the doctor was saying about how carrying two babies is different than carrying one. It felt so surreal. I could not believe it. I kept thinking..."Twins? I am having twins? Can this honestly be possible?" Apparently it is most definitely possible, and we are most definitely having twins!
After the ultrasound, the doctor told me I could take a few minutes to get myself together before I went to make another appointment. As I sat in the ultrasound room by myself, I was filled with so much emotion. I immediately got my phone out and began texting Jase, knowing very well that he would not be getting my texts until he got service on the home, at 7:30 or 8:00. I was dying. I had to share this news with someone. I knew that I had to wait and tell Jase first.
I believe that afternoon may have been one of the longest of my life. I paced, I looked at the ultrasound pictures a million times, just to reiterate the fact that I was for sure having twins, and this wasn't some kind of dream. The second Jase got home I sat him down at the table and proceeded to tell him everything about the ultrasound. I wish that I would have snapped a picture of his face after hearing the big news. He was just as shocked as I was. After a tearful hug and kiss, and validation from the ultrasound pictures we began making the numerous calls to our families.
We are very excited. I have had a whirlwind of emotions the past few days. It is going to be one heck of a ride! I have spent many hours the past few days researching twin pregnancies online, trying to soak in as much information as possible. I ran across this blog, that a woman created to explain her feelings and emotions of being pregnant with twins. One of her recent blog posts said this at the end, and I think it is beautiful.
"I am glad that God chose me to have twins. I love that I am different from most of the people I know. I am excited about the challenge and the joys that will come from two babies at one time. I feel strong and confident…like I was chosen for this job. And I feel privileged.Sometimes I am still surprised when I think I am having twins. Mentally I know it. I can feel it and see it. I have two cribs in my nursery. But sometimes it strikes me and I smile and sometimes laugh. I can’t wait to hold to tiny little boys in my arms. I can’t wait to count 20 tiny toes and 20 tiny fingers. This is what I have been waiting my whole life for."
I do feel privileged. I have numerous feelings of inadequacy, but I know that with Heavenly Father's help I can accomplish anything! I feel so blessed to have Jase in my life. I have been quite crazy the past few days, moody and very emotional, and I know I haven't been pleasant to live with. However, he has been very patient and understanding and is simply tickled pink that we are having twins. I love him so much. :)
